Sober Toolbox 4: Alcohol Triggers and Spatial Association

This article has been recorded to audio for convenience. All Podcasts can be heard on: This Website (Podcast Episodes), Podbean, Spotify, Apple Podcast, Amazon Music Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Google Chrome, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and more.

Hello Sobertown,

Continuing to build our sober toolbox requires a discussion of triggers, and one of these drinking triggers is our spatial association between locations, occurrences and drinking.

What is Spacial Association?

Spatial association refers to how one phenomenon is related spatially to the distribution of another. Example, electrical appliances are spatially related to power outlet locations. This concept can be used to describe not only how physical objects are associated to one another such as poo is related to toilet (hopefully), but can be used to describe thoughts and actions being spatially associated with particular locations.

Over years and years of experiences, we consolidate and engrain what is normal to us in particular situations. Nobody wrote the rulebook on what is or is not “normal.” This is generally based simply on social norms and participation with the common group activities, and in this, our normal can absolutely be shifted and changed over time.

The most obvious spatial association relating to us and our journey between environment and activity is pub/bar and drinking. The correlation between these places and activities is as strong as poo in toilet. And the example of this association being untrue where individuals are located in a bar and are not drinking is about as rare as the poo that landed on the floor. It doesn’t happen often. Usually it is due to an unusual circumstance, but it can happen.

What Do You Associate With Drinking?

You as an ex-drinker or perhaps reading this during the phase of your life where you are planning your sober life and are a current drinker have associations between locations, experiences and drinking alcohol. The associations are worryingly numerous for some of us and most certainly were for myself. The associations are well engrained and are strong.

Think about your association locations or activities. I will outline some of my major associations to give you an idea.

I used to go camping. I still do, and camping is something I love. It is wonderful to be outside in nature, to walk in a fresh cool creek, to see new places and to light a fire, to remove ourselves from the normal attachments and distractions of life.

However, after a certain age, I began to drink when I was camping and eventually every camping trip would be associated strongly with drinking. To camp without drinking would have felt unusual, wrong or even painful. I trained myself to believe that camping was associated with drinking and sadly, as with many experiences, camping became better described as drinking in the bush rather than camping and experiencing nature.

Camping was associated with the addictive pathway of drinking. They had become firmly intertwined. Eventually, life became an example of drinking at (insert current location).

Camping was associated with drinking very strongly. When I left alcohol behind, I went camping relatively early in my sober journey and to say I felt like my world was distorted is an understatement. When I was out there and the distraction of setting up camp was over, my mind began to feel like somebody was slowly screwing giant rusty screws into it at multiple locations, turning a half turn at a time and then moving onto another one. I even wonder if my face looked twisted externally to others at the time. It may have.

My mind was confused and taxed. Camping meant drinking and here I was camping and not drinking. It was difficult to comprehend. Logically, the absolute last thing on Earth I should want to do while camping is drink. The whole point and enjoyment is to experience the world as it is naturally, to touch base with our roots and our ancestors, to sleep rough, to see the stars and to stare into the hot fire, to talk meaningfully with no distractions. Camping is the ultimate representation of experiences that sobriety heightens. Alcohol detracts from every one of these. Nonetheless, I associated camping with drinking and so it felt wrong.

Live sports are an event that I associated with drinking. Go to the footy, buy beer, watch footy.

Again, the addiction pathway in my mind was intertwined with being at a spectator sport location and watching live sports. Spectating sport was drinking to my mind and its neural circuits. Here is the reality. Obtaining beer at a sporting venue is terrible, the lineup is huge, the shuffling around people and seating is annoying, the price of beer at stadiums is astronomical, the wait time detracts from a lot of the actual playtime you can watch and the additional trips to the toilet are unnecessary dives into the cesspool of that which is male public toilets, filthy creatures we are on mass, especially when we’re filled with beer and meat pies, cringe-worthy.

Yet logic does not apply when the pathways in our mind are set, built and strong. Price or lineups are irrelevant to the irrationality of the addicted pathway and as it fires we will go to unusual lengths to follow the path it believes is correct for us.

Obviously, the pub, bars or breweries are trigger locations. I need not go into depth on this one. These establishments exist only to feed the pathway we wish to destroy. It is what it is.

Hopefully, you get the idea.

How Do We Break These Associations to Alcohol?

Each of us as a drinker or ex drinker likely has many associations. The associations are locations, events, days of the week and when we get deep into it even thoughts are associations with drinking.

The excellent news is this:

These associations between locations, events and drinking were built over time in our minds.

Again “neurons that fire together wire together”. The pathway in our mind linking these to alcohol was wired in, and they can be “unwired” to make way for a new pathway in our mind. This is gradual but with every return to events which I would have once associated with drinking it became more normal to attend as a non-drinker until currently at a young ten months into sobriety I can go camping, I can go to the river, I can go to the football and I can even go the pub and not drink and I feel almost zero anxiety. I have no rusty screws probing my brain. And on a brighter note, I can now enjoy these experiences for what they are and what they should be rather than floating from one activity to another and having it revolve around the next drink.

When you quit, you need to be aware of your associations because they are likely numerous and thick in your life. You need to know how being in these situations makes you feel and be ready to simply remove yourself if the association is so strong that the voice grows loud.

Don’t listen to it and remove yourself if you are not comfortable. This is a selfish journey, to begin with, it must be. Remember, if you find an event or location difficult and the association draws emotions and unwanted thoughts, that this is not forever. Your mind will rewire in time if you challenge it to do so.

Identifying Alcohol Triggers

One of the most important things to be aware of is who, what or where will trigger your circuitry to start salivating over the act of drinking alcohol. Once you are aware of the people, places or activities which will trigger you, then you can be prepared to battle these thoughts or to accept that you may not yet be ready and to reroute and try again later.

Challenging yourself is a personal choice. I cannot advise anybody one way or the other, and I do not know the right answer here for you, the reader. This is your journey, and these feelings are yours to gauge. What I can do is explain my experience.

Alcohol Triggers and Anxiety

A pub caused me anxiety. A weekend away caused me to have immense cravings. A mountain bike ride caused me to desire drinking after I was finished.

Early on in sobriety, I limited my contact with experiences I knew I had strong associations with drinking. I carefully selected what I felt I wanted to try and when. I knew which experiences were most triggering and proceeded slowly to locations that had the strongest link to drinking in my mind, example, the pub.

I chose to ride my mountain bike as it is one of my most beloved activities, and it was only a short few trips before I simply felt no draw to alcohol after returning from a ride in the forest with friends.

Eventually, I chose to eat a meal, lunch at the local pub, I was anxious, my heart rate was higher than normal and I felt a little distorted as I watched others day drink. I saw myself seated in the location in which I would never have made the decision to not drink alcohol in my past, but I did it. It was uncomfortable but I did it.

Actually, it sucked. I am a leg bouncer, one of those annoying people who bounce their whole leg up and down like an anxious or nervous response. Sitting in the pub for the first time attempting to challenge my old pathways to change caused my leg to bounce so heavily that I may have almost knocked items off of the table multiple times. I also live on the same street as a brewery. The owner is a good friend. I avoided the brewery and him for months, waving as I went by and not stopping to chat. I felt bad, but I had no choice.

Eventually, I tested most of these events and locations with a plan and a readiness to leave instantly and a resolutely determined mindset that I was going to be ok and I was going to consume absolutely no alcohol no matter what, and I survived.

I am very glad that I gradually retrained my mind to not feel like these experiences should be associated with alcohol.

Now, I feel free. It took over eight months to feel completely free of the link between locations and drinking. But I now do, I am no longer limited in where I can go and I know how I will feel in these situations. I can now go to the brewery. My friend, the brewer, jokes with me and gets out the water and lemon and if he can accept, ANYBODY can accept.

I go to the pub and the owner talks to me about types of zero beer on the market at the moment. I go camping, and I see the sky, I see the trees. I smell the air. I feel alive. I feel what we were made to feel in our natural environment.

I go to live music, and I feel the music,

I watch sports live, and I actually focus on the game and need few trips to the dunny.

I recently had a friend stay with me for a long weekend, I love this guy. I thought maybe he would abstain as it was only him and I for a few days and he knew I no longer drink. But no, I watched him drink from 10 am to falling asleep at around 9 pm every day. We went to the brewery, we went to the pub, I loved his company and I love him, but I did not drink. I did not feel the desire to drink with him or in any location, and I attribute this to my spatial association challenges/training and my environmental conditioning.

Alcohol in Society

The tough thing about the way our society is set up and geared toward drinking is that we really won’t be able to avoid it. Advertising, social gatherings and the myriad of other experiences involving alcohol are going to be difficult or dare I say impossible to avoid altogether.

We have to live out life. My advice would be to challenge these experiences slowly and only when ready but to do your best to acclimatise and train the ability to simply be amongst drinkers and alcohol without it affecting you. Without becoming an evangelistic loon and without having a mental breakdown. All three can be tough at times, but I consider this a form of training or conditioning. We need to assimilate back into society in some form eventually. With that said, no rush, no unnecessary risks, do it on your own time and get the F out of there if you are not ready.

The above is my experience and was my strategy. I do not know if this method applies to you so be cautious. You may need to detach from these situations for longer than me and approach them very cautiously. This is your journey.

How to Handle Alcohol Triggers

The tool is this

• Understand and assess the people, places, experiences and activities you associate with drinking.

• Enter these situations with caution and awareness without solely focusing on the link.

• Be prepared with an exit strategy and bail-out support. Be selfish where required.

• Safely probe your reaction to these experiences over time and return in whatever capacity you can until these places are no longer a threat.

• If there are places that do not serve you or will never feel ok, it is ok to avoid them.

• Do not feel bad about non-attendance of places or events. You must be selfish in sobriety early on.

• Know this will improve with time and with attempts to challenge your mind’s triggers and status quo.

The Sobertown Blog articles and recordings are created as a means of assisting others in achieving and maintaining freedom from alcohol. Experiences, entries, research and article content are that of the author/s and should be applied in a safe manner, where/when relevant, with medical oversight. This is not medical advice.