Sober Toolbox 5: ODAAT
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Hello Sobertown,
ONE DAY AT A TIME
Is there a more commonly described concept in sobriety? Probably not.
How do you eat an elephant, Sobertown?
One bite at a time!
Just to be clear, no elephants were harmed in the making of this blog/podcast.
This concept of one day at a time is by no means exclusive to leaving behind a habit such as drinking. One day at a time applies broadly to life’s challenges. The strategy can be expanded or contracted and molded to suit different challenges. One day at a time, however, applies absolutely beautifully to the process of quitting alcohol.
ODAAT Meaning
When I first came into contact with groups of people leaving alcohol behind, I would often see in their written posts “ODAAT” and I would think to myself, what does that mean!?
I was such a newbie to this scene.
ODAAT???? ODAAT???? Hmmmm.
I tried to string some nonsensical words to fit the acronym, and I failed to form a logical pattern. I thought and I thought about it each time I read it, but I never put in the effort to search its meaning in the Googler apparatus. It came up so often though that I figured it must be meaningful. I was too scared to ask as a newbie to these groups. Finally, somebody else did ask, and I saw the answer.
ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME.
Of course!! Oh, how obvious it is after the fact. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.
One Day at a Time
In my professions as a practitioner and a trainer, I have the opportunity to speak to people from many and varied walks of life, different professions and athletes, and many individuals who exhibit true grit in their professions or physical pursuits. I am lucky enough without needing to seek these people out to be able to discuss with them some of their strategies under strain and under hardship incidentally as a part of our time working together. For this, I consider myself very lucky and here I have the opportunity to share.
Second to this, I am even luckier to have in the past and again very recently been present and a part of the birth of my two daughters. The concept of one day at a time, believe it or not, applies in its own form to the profound and intense experience of childbirth.
I have had the opportunity to work with individuals from a military background who endure tough physical and mental training, and people who compete and train in tough endurance events from Iron Man to triathlons, CrossFit competitions to powerlifting events and more.
The people I meet and talk to who are exposed to these challenges hold something in common in their mental toughness and grit, their mental techniques and their general outlook. Most often they are not simply David Goggins-like characters yelling at themselves to “stay hard” as they run one hundred mile events. No, these are very real people, mothers, fathers, quiet and calm people, kind and gentle people, but they have mental grit and they have training in pushing through and they have techniques to drive themselves through the discomfort to achieve their goals.
These people are not born special. They are not born tougher. They train it, they expose themselves to challenges and they think their way through them as they endure the physical strain without giving up.
During childbirth, the uterine contractions, the intense stretching and tearing of tissue and the utter exhaustion make the experience one of the most profound, incredible and challenging events a woman might experience in her lifetime. And although I can never speak to the experience personally, such is the limitation of my gender, I have observed firsthand as my wife’s supporter the benefit of biting off small challenges one by one to overcome the monumental challenge of giving birth to a child. These being uterine contractions, one at a time.
One Moment, One Rep, One Challenge at a Time
What do these individuals have in common? Those who run, ride, lift beyond that which we would consider normal or achievable or those who labor for hours within an intense bubble of discomfort to bring their children into the world?
ODAAT.
One day at a time, or if not one day at a time, they have a variant of ODAAT applicable to their pursuit.
Such as, one rep at a time, one step at a time, one contraction at a time and so on,
The concept is no different from that which we employ as we bash through the jungle early in our sobriety journey. Many who employ these techniques are completely unaware they do so, regardless, taking a challenge, sectioning it into many pieces and overcoming these pieces one by one is effective in overcoming what seems like an overwhelming challenge.
Focus Your Efforts
One day at a time is a concept, it can be expanded and compressed. The point of it is not precisely one day or one exact 24 hour period at a time. The point is to understand that when you direct your focus at the challenge in front of you and you align all of your efforts with completing this challenge alone. Eliminating the thought that anything exists beyond this challenge in front of you, then you can prevail. Even if the challenge is very tough, if you focus on whatever is right in front of you alone then you massively boost your chances of overcoming this challenge. One marathon is a daunting thought, but one kilometre or mile is ok, one contraction is ok, one step is fine. Find your pace, find your rhythm, find your cadence and push through and take one kilometre at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time.
Some days will be one day at a time and some will be one second at a time. Then some days will be so smooth that you feel like one week at a time would be a valid concept. But some days, yeah, some days will be one minute at a time, one breath at a time.
Some days will challenge you like you have never been challenged as the craving or the habit loop feel like a magnet drawing you and calling to you.
Think of it this way.
You are climbing a huge mountain. You have been going only for a couple of hours and you are starting to fatigue. You look up towards the peak, holy Sh#* you can not even see it. All you can see is steep rock as far as the eye can view, and the peak is hidden in a cloud. It seems impossible. It makes you want to quit.
You look back down at the path in front of you, you steady, you take the next step and you watch your foot plant firmly in a safe location. You press off and take another step. You keep your focus on your individual steps, taking them carefully so as not to slip. You look at the path directly in front and you and the sinking feeling in your gut that you had looking into the distance fades. You are tired and you are struggling, but you take one step at a time, and this is ok. You rest when you can not step anymore, then you focus on what is right in front of you and you keep on taking one step at a time.
This is how you conquer the mountain. You do not need to zoom out too far, looking at anything in our lives from a distance is daunting. There is no end to the distance we can zoom out. We can go so far that we conceptually view our entire life in a linear form with a start and a finish. This is overwhelming. This is unnecessary in quitting alcohol. At times we must zoom out, but when the challenge sits right there in front of you, one step after the next will get you where you need to go.
Compare this now to childbirth, contractions are coming less than two minutes apart. The uterine muscle begins to squeeze, the pressure is intense and the pain builds up until it peaks. You are breathing, stomping, shaking, screaming out for help as the intensity surpasses that which you can realistically bear, you scream and grip your partner’s hand with unnatural force, and then, gradually, the contraction eases and backs down.
You made it through and with this, you moved one step closer to the final push. You breathe and know you have about a minute to rest before the next challenge comes along. If you focus on the unknown, the number of remaining contractions or the unknown number of remaining minutes left for this labor then the process becomes mentally unbearable. You zoom back in, focus on the upcoming contraction, you feel it building again, you stomp, you scream, you breathe, you yell and you know, this unbearable pressure and pain will end, focus on this and this alone, conquer it and you are one step closer to the ultimate gift of giving life. You see the goal and you see the single steps, the single contractions you need to sustain to reach this goal. This is just another version of ODAAT.
Quitting Alcohol
Make no mistake, quitting alcohol is a monumental challenge, it is a mountain, but this mountain has no peak. It keeps growing as you climb, it is tough and depending on many variables, it is more difficult for some than others.
Quitting alcohol in the society we live in and with the history you may have with the substance is huge.
Is it achievable? Absolutely. But the challenge is real, just like a triathlon, just like a military conditioning period and just like childbirth. And the distance of the race for many of us, months, years, forever, but forever is not something you need to think about. It need not even cross your mind until you choose to consider it. One day at a time is all we need.
So what did I learn from those in the defense force and those running hours at a time as the pain sets in?
These people with grit, they built that grit up from nothing, they trained that grit until discomfort was ok and pushing through was the norm.
To my friends living alcohol-free, you built this grit in sobriety even if you don’t know it. You became the uncommon, you pushed through and to you attempting this journey anew, you will build this grit in time with repeat efforts every day.
They take one step at a time when the shit comes in and the quitters voice speaks to them, they focus on their breath, one breath at a time, one step at a time. A step even when at your limit is achievable, while focusing on another thirteen kilometers may be unbearable, a step you can do, then another, then another.
Defense force members report focusing on one meal at a time, tough out whatever training is coming, make it to the next meal, reset then go again. One day, one step, one breath, one meal. During these tough periods, all of these individuals also have some form of self-talk. One triathlete found it helpful to speak to herself harshly. She told me she would tell herself, “Come on you fat bitch, don’t you slow down,” as she went step by step or stroke by stroke in the water. Another would stare down the bar and mentally swear and scream at the bar thinking “f&c* you, you are going up” before un-racking a huge weight to squat. Some are less aggressive in their self-talk but the point is, self-talk and focus on only that which is in front of you is key.
Many of us have visualised our voice, our addiction and when the call comes we might swear at that bastard voice and tell it where to go while living these one moment, one second at a time. These are neurological, ergonomic aids in physical pursuits or in overriding unwanted feelings. These work.
You do not need to plan for a lifetime. You do not need to plan for anything further than you feel comfortable with.
My personal technique in my own physical training is that I vary my focus depending on the challenge right in front of me. I focus on the next hill while on the bike. It doesn’t matter if I am on my absolute limit, I know I can get this hill done and what will come next, will come next. I focus on feeling the pedal stroke each side of the bike, one, two, one, two, and I feel the force my legs generate keeping them on the limit.
Lifting I focus on getting through the next reps, 5 pull-ups or the next 10 dips and so on. I focussed on the next 30 minutes when I quit alcohol because I knew that if I employed my techniques and I overcame a craving for alcohol that in less than this half-hour I will overcome it and it will be gone.
You can focus your attention on staying the course and pushing through one day at a time, and you can compress this to any period you need depending on the challenge of the day. You may desire to see the marathon for what it is, to project further and this is ok, but after peeking over the wall and having a look across the horizon always ground yourself back in this day and in this moment.
OSAAT: One second at a time.
OMiAAT: One minute at a time.
OHAAT: One hour at a time.
OBAAT: One breath at a time.
OCAAT: One contraction at a time.
Maybe you will get to the point where OMoAAT: One month at a time, is comfortable.
BUT - Even when comfortable at one month at a time it would be advisable to return and at least touch base with one day at a time every day, months and years into sobriety there can be days which challenge you, they still come.
THE TOOL IS THIS:
Take every day in sobriety ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Adjust from one day down to focusing on smaller periods while feeling challenged. Whatever increment you feel you need to filter down to, to get through that day even if you need to stop and just get through one breath at a time.
Allow yourself to project further into the future if you desire but remain grounded at ONE DAY AT A TIME.
If you can take care of this second, this minute, this hour, this day in a manner conducive to your goals then the weeks, months and years will take care of themselves.
When feeling overcome with craving/desire to drink. Slow down. Hone in on that moment alone. Think about how you feel and accept it. Employ a strategy to overcome or ride it out successfully, stay focused on overcoming that moment alone, just like focusing on the next step in a marathon rather than the remaining distance and time. You can do it, and it will pass. The Sober Toolbox will include these strategies as we continue to develop it within these articles.
For those of you like me who like to see some science behind the concept and tool read on.
A recent study was performed where the authors utilised f(MRI), this is functional MRI, an imaging technique where the MRI measures blood flow in real-time to regions of the brain, blood flow is correlated with neural activity so it can be deduced from the imaging how an individual is firing the neurons in their brain in response to certain stimulus.
The authors of the study used stressful images and cues for alcohol on the test subjects who were diagnosed with an alcohol use disorder (AUD) and also did so on control subjects who had no history of alcohol use disorder. The authors also included neutral control images and introduced these as a reference point.
Compared to the control group, the AUD group showed “hyperreactivity in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) in response to neutral images, but significant hypoactivation in the vmPFC and ventral striatum in response to stress images and to alcohol cues relative to response to neutral images”
Basically that just says that the AUD group showed a dysfunctional level of brain activity when shown visual cues to alcohol in one of the regions of the brain which is responsible for some of our “mammalian” actions, our reflexive behaviour and our processing of risk and fear. This region is associated with pure emotion regulation. Patients with lesions in this region of the brain have been shown to have strong impairment in both social and personal decision making (3).
The authors conclude that “Treatments that target this functional prefrontal-striatal pathology could improve early treatment outcomes in AUD”. (1)
What this study is suggesting is that during live brain activity scanning of people with alcohol use disorders undergoing treatment, the number of days abstinent from alcohol have an effect on the function of this region of the brain which functions abnormally in drinkers, such that the dysfunction improves over time as those in question remain abstinent from alcohol. What it suggests is that early on, techniques like one day at a time are vital since simply deciding to quit is not enough alone due to regions of the brain literally not working as they normally would. Early on in attempting sobriety we are literally at a disadvantage because our use of alcohol has observably diminished our brain centres responsible for personal decision making, this is not a fair fight and so these strategies and tools are vital especially early in sobriety.
This study tells me a couple of things.
When we drink over time we do alter the way our brain works, we suppress activity in certain regions, so the journey to quit is a battle, especially early on.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT QUITTING IS HARD. ALCOHOL CHANGES OUR BRAIN FUNCTION, but we can beat it and return it to normal. Just go one step, one breath, ODAAT.
When we take things one day, one minute at a time we increase our ability to override the draw to our addiction.
IF WE LEARN (not fail) LEARN, AND WE DO DRINK AGAIN - THE ONLY AND MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO TRY AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND DO NOT STOP TRYING because every time we help to return our brain to a more normal state and every time we break negative neural loops and we engrain good ones.
IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME, keep trying, it does get better in time.
Those of us maintaining an alcohol free life. DONT GO BACK, WE WORKED TOO HARD TO CHANGE OUR BRAINS AND LIVES FOR THE BETTER, NEVER FORGET THIS, DONT GO BACK.
Thanks, Sobertown, remember one day, one hour, eat the elephant one bite at a time.
REFERENCE
(1): Blaine SK et al: 2020. Association of Prefrontal-Striatal Functional Pathology With Alcohol Abstinence Days at Treatment Initiation and Heavy Drinking After Treatment Initiation. The American Journal of Pychiatry. Volume 177: Issue 11, November 01, 2020, Pages 1048-1059.
(1): Link to study: Here
(2): Motzkin JC et al: February 2015. Ventromedial prefrontal cortex is critical for the regulation of amygdala activity in humans. Biological Psychiatry. 77 (3): 276–284. doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2014.02.014. PMC 4145052. PMID 24673881.
(3): Bechara A, Tranel D, Damasio H: November 2000. Characterization of the decision-making deficit of patients with ventromedial prefrontal cortex lesions. Brain. 123 (11): 2189–202. doi:10.1093/brain/123.11.2189. PMID 11050020.
The Sobertown Blog articles and recordings are created as a means of assisting others in achieving and maintaining freedom from alcohol. Experiences, entries, research and article content are that of the author/s and should be applied in a safe manner, where/when relevant, with medical oversight. This is not medical advice.
